Monday, April 5, 2010

I've Been a Terrible Blogger

Friends, over the past week, I've been guilty of serious Twitter and blog neglect, and I feel as though I'm been missing out. The slacker trend stops today and I promise to get my butt back in gear.

I thought I'd do a quick update post to A) get myself back on track and B) update you on the hilariousness that has been the last week of my life. So here we go.

The New Job
The job is great, and I'm adjusting, meeting new people, and learning the business as fast as I can. My boss (who is an enormous big wig in the company) works out of our west coast office, so I have a day-to-day boss here in PA and he is hilarious. Not hilarious in a "I'd-love-to-see-this-dude-do-stand-up" kind of way. But more of a "did-that-just-come-out-of-your-mouth/let-me-pick my-chin- up-off-my-desk" kind of way.  Here is a quick summary of some of the ridiculousness that has occurred thus far.

Monday (my first day): Pennsylvania Bossman tells me that his 20 year old son is a pothead. Not like he smokes from time to time. But more like pot is the only thing that his son does. Ever. Great first day conversation, right?

Tuesday: Bossman tells me that he has to pay his ex-wife $4K a month in child support, and "I should aim to never have an ex." Yup. I'm on it, dude. I am planning to be married to the same man forever.

I will spare you the rest of the week's gory details, but needless to say, there were many other awkward funny conversations that I never thought I would have with a boss during my first week.

I love the position though and I'm delighted to be working where I am.

Cell Phones in the Pond. No Bueno.
Just call DH and I "Mr. and Mrs. Landscaper". We've taken on a major landscaping project on the hillside that is in our backyard. The hillside has been neglected and has gotten overgrown, so we are attempting to tame the jungle that is has become. On Saturday, we were working on the hillside and had our cell phones on a plastic lawn chair that was near our little koi pond, and the wind kicked up and dumped the chair and both of our cell phones into the pond.

In case you didn't know, when cell phones decide to go swimming it's no bueno. I knew what had happened and ran to rescue my lifeline to the outside world and addiction affectionately known as the crackberry cell phone and started the drying process. Did you know plain, uncooked rice does wonders on a wet cell phone? Pull the battery, dry it off as best as you can with a towel, do not pass go, do not collect $200, and put the phone into a bowl of rice. After about 4 hours in the rice, my brand new, company paid for (aka I would have been up a creek without a paddle) blackberry was as good as new.

DH's phone wasn't as lucky. The good news is that he was ready for a new phone anyway. He got a Droid this morning and has been texting me ALL day about the latest apps that he can't wait to download.

***Side note: Dear Wonderful Husband... if you are reading this, I have to work. I'm sorry I can't text back and forth about apps. xoxox, me***

Easter at the In-Laws
To keep your sanity, I have one word for you: Wine. Lots and lots of wine.

Have a great start to your week. I'll be in Phoenix for a business trip this Wednesday-Friday... so keep your eyes peeled for a new blog category. MissMarried on the road featuring me writing from 37F in the back of a 757 on a cross country flight.


  1. I have several often-inappropriate co-workers and I just happen to LOVE their stories. Shocking, quite often. Entertaining, for sure.

  2. A girl at my office told us how big her fiance's you know what is. Deep sigh. I'll never be the same.

  3. People have no shame in sharing details of their lives that are meant to be kept private. I can't handle it. You both crack me up with your colleagues' stories and I'm so glad to hear that I'm not the only one that has "over-sharers" in my office. Too funny.

  4. I find that I need to have copious amounts of alcohol when dealing with MY extended family. Easter with his parents is a peace of cake. :)